Another email Joke:Types of economies.

SOCIALISM

• You have 2 cows.
• You give one to your neighbor.

• You have 2 cows.
• The State takes both and gives you some milk.

• You have 2 cows.
• The State takes both and sells you some milk.

• You have 2 cows.
• The State takes both and shoots you.

• You have 2 cows.
• The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
  milk away…

• You have two cows.
• You sell one and buy a bull.
• Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
• You sell them and retire on the income.

• You have two giraffes.
• The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

• You have two cows.
• You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
• Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

• You have two cows.
• You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
  of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
  debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
  four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
  the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
  Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the
  rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual
  report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
  You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
  you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The
  public then buys your bull.

• You have two cows.
• You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
  want three cows.

• You have two cows.
• You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
  and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow
  cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

• You have two cows.
• You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
  milk themselves.

• You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
• You decide to have lunch.

• You have two cows.
• You count them and learn you have five cows.
• You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
• You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
• You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

• You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
• You charge the owners for storing them.

• You have two cows.
• You have 300 people milking them.
• You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
• You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

• You have two cows.
• You worship them.

• You have two cows.
• Both are mad.

• Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
• You tell them that you have none.
• No-one believes you, so they bomb the hell out of you and invade your country.
• You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…

• You have two cows.
• Business seems pretty good.
• You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

• You have two cows.
• The one on the left looks very attractive.

• You have two cows.
• You blog about the two cows.
• You back up the two cows blog for peace of mind.
• You make a book and call it the two cow book.